My trip to the Kiniwata Island in the Pacific was a memorable one. Although the island was beautiful and I had an enjoyable time, the thing I remember most about my trip was the fact "Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife." I’m reminded of it every time I see a woman belittle her husband or a wife wither under her husband’s scorn. I want to say to them, "You should know why Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife."

Johnny Lingo is known throughout the islands for his skills, intelligence, and savvy. If you hire him as a guide, he will show you the best fishing spots and the best places to get pearls. Johnny is also one of the sharpest traders in the islands. He can get you the best possible deals. The people of Kiniwata all speak highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet, when they speak of him, they always smile just a little mockingly.

A couple days after my arrival to Kiniwata, I went to the manager of the guesthouse to see who he thought would be a good fishing guide. "Johnny Lingo," said the manager. "He’s the best around. When you go shopping, let him do the bargaining. Johnny knows how to make a deal."

"Johnny Lingo!" hooted a nearby boy.
The boy rocked with laughter as he said,
 "Yea, Johnny can make a deal alright!"

"What’s going on?" I demanded.

"Everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo
and then they start laughing.
Please, let me in on the joke."

"Oh, the people like to laugh," he said, shrugging.

"Johnny’s the brightest and strongest young man in the islands.
He’s also the richest for his age."

"But …" I protested.
"… if he’s all you say he is,
why does everyone laugh at him behind his back?"

"Well, there is one thing.
Five months ago, at fall festival,
Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife.
He gave her father eight cows!"

I knew enough about island customs to be impressed.
A dowry of two or three cows would net a fair wife
and four or five cows would net a very nice wife.

"Wow!" I said. "Eight cows!
She must have beauty that takes your breath away."

"She’s not ugly, …" he conceded with a little smile, "…
 but calling her ‘plain’ would definitely be a compliment.
Sam Karoo, her father, was afraid
he wouldn’t be able to marry her off.
Instead of being stuck with her, he got eight cows for her. Isn’t that extraordinary?
This price has never been paid before."

"Yet, you called Johnny’s wife ‘plain?’ "

"I said it would be a compliment to call her plain.
She was skinny and she walked with
her shoulders  hunched and her head ducked.
She was scared of her own shadow."

"Well," I said, "I guess there’s just no accounting for love."

"True enough." agreed the man.
"That’s why the villagers grin when they talk about Johnny.
They get special satisfaction from the fact
the sharpest trader in the islands
was bested by dull old Sam Karoo."

"But how?"

"No one knows and everyone wonders.
All of the cousins urged Sam to ask for three cows
and hold out for two until he was sure
Johnny would pay only one.
To their surprise Johnny came to Sam Karoo and said,
‘Father of Sarita, I offer eight cows for your daughter.’ "

"Eight cows." I murmured.
"I’d like to meet this Johnny Lingo."

I wanted fish and pearls, so the next afternoon
I went to the island of Nurabandi.
As I asked directions to Johnny’s house,
I noticed Johnny’s neighbors were also amused
at the mention of his name.
When I met the slim, serious young man
I could see immediately why everyone respected his skills. However, this only reinforced my confusion over him.

As we sat in his house, he asked me,
"You come here from Kiniwata?"

"Yes."

"They speak of me on that island?"

"Yes. They say you can provide me anything I need.
They say you’re intelligent, resourceful,
and the sharpest trader in the islands."

He smiled gently. "My wife is from Kiniwata."

"Yes, I know."

"They speak of her?"

"A little."

"What do they say?"

"Why, just … ." The question caught me off balance. "
They told me you were married at festival time."

"Nothing more?"
The curve of his eyebrows told me he knew
 there had to be more.

"They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows."
I paused. "They wonder why."

"They ask that?" His eyes lighted with pleasure.
"Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?"

I nodded.

"And in Nurabandi, everyone knows it too?"
His chest expanded with satisfaction.
"Always and forever,
when they speak of marriage settlements,
it will be remembered that
Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita."

So that’s the answer, I thought: Vanity.

Just then Sarita entered the room
to place flowers on the table.
She stood still for a moment to smile at her husband
and then left. She was the most beautiful woman
I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders,
the tilt of her chin, and the sparkle in her eyes
all spelled self-confidence and pride.
Not an arrogant and haughty pride,
but a confident inner beauty
that radiated in her every movement.

I turned back to Johnny and found him looking at me.

"You admire her?" he murmured.

"She … she’s gorgeous." I said.
"Obviously, this is not the one everyone is talking about.
She can’t be the Sarita you married on Kiniwata."

"There’s only one Sarita.
Perhaps, she doesn’t look the way you expected."

"She doesn’t. I heard she was homely.
They all make fun of you
because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo."

"You think eight cows was too many?"
A smile slid over his lips.

"No, but how can she be so different
from the way they described her?"

Johnny said, "Think about how it must make a girl feel
to know her husband paid a very low dowry for her?
It must be insulting to her to know
he places such little value on her.
Think about how she must feel
when the other women boast about
the high prices their husbands paid for them.
It must be embarrassing for her.
I would not let this happen to my Sarita."

"So, you paid eight cows just to make your wife happy?"

"Well, of course I wanted Sarita to be happy,
but there’s more to it than that.
You say she is different from what you expected.
This is true. Many things can change a woman.
There are things that happen on the inside
and things that happen on the outside.
However, the thing that matters most
is how she views herself.

In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing.
As a result, that’s the value she projected.
Now, she knows she is worth more
than any other woman in the islands.
It shows, doesn’t it?"

"Then you wanted …"

"I wanted to marry Sarita. She is the only woman I love."

"But …" I was close to understanding.

"But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."

Many marital problems could be eliminated
if we followed the principles described in the story.
If you are having marital problems,
you should reevaluate your treatment of your mate.
Think about your words and actions (both public and private).
Do your words and actions make your mate feel
he/she is worth eight cows or just one cow?
Don’t make the mistake of causing your spouse
to feel like he/she is worth only one cow.
If you do, they will probably start acting
like a one cow wife/husband.

This principle can also be applied to the way you treat others.
Many problems can be eliminated at work and church
if we only treated others with more respect.
Think about the value you put on people.
As a general rule, people respond
according to the value you place on them.